Small Group Leadership Quick Tip: Draw Out Ninja Nina

The following is part of the on the go training that I’ve begun to give our adult leaders in our youth ministry. The principles should be transferrable to other youth ministries with small group programs.

Who Doesn’t Love Ninjas?

When I was a kid I was obsessed with ninjas. If I’m honest with myself, I’d have to confess I’m probably still a little too interested in them. But who can blame me? Ninjas are awesome. Stealthy, skilled assassins with amazing tools of war, and if they’re good at their job, you never know they’ve been there. You could be surrounded by ninjas and never know it. And that would be terrifying and excellent.

What is not excellent is to have ninjas in your small group. Not the sword-wielding ones, but those teenagers who enter, remain, and leave in the shadows with not a soul noticing. As a small group leader you must be aware of your “Ninja Nina” and work to draw her out into discussion, lest she remain a ghost in your midst.

So how do you draw out Ninja Nina?

Out of the Shadows

First, unlike a talkative teen, you should make sure Nina sits directly in front of you. This gives her the opportunity for direct contact and a chance to respond to you face-to-face. It also keeps her from hiding in the wings.

Secondly, ask her directly. Instead of opening a question up to the entire group, address the quiet teen first. Say, “Nina, what would you say to the question…” You’re not trying to embarrass or put the teen on the spot, but you are giving her an exclusive opportunity to interact, where she might have otherwise just been drowned out by those more eager to talk.

Finally, give encouragement when she gives input. This tip is a good idea of any teens. When they respond with a thoughtful answer, encourage their bravery to speak and their insight into the question. A little encouragement can help us all get over the hill of insecurity that keeps us silent in small group discussion.

Don’t let Ninja Nina come and go without a notice.

Published by Eddy Barnes

Eddy Barnes a husband, father, and the youth pastor at Grace Covenant Church.

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