The following is part of the on the go training that I’ve begun to give our adult leaders in our youth ministry. The principles should be transferrable to other youth ministries with small group programs.
Thank You For Your Input…
“Well, I think that it’s basically a simple thing that, you know, Jesus was, you know, God and so of course he wanted to help other people, because God is good and he helps people. I mean, when I’m at school sometimes I try to help people when they need it by being nice to them and stuff. So it’s pretty easy to see that…”
You have been here. And you have heard this monologue. Talkative Timmy is giving his answer to your question, “Is Jesus the son of God?” When you’re leading a small group, there are a lot of personalities that you’ll meet. Some are quiet and more reflective. Others are more quick to speak up. And some will challenge your patience and holiness.
So how do you gracefully lead a talkative Timmy or Tanya? Here are three things to do.
Guiding Timmy
First, if you know who your talkative teens are, try to seat them beside yourself. They will be less inclined to speak if they can’t look directly into your face. So sit beside them.
Secondly, if others are struggling get a word in edgewise, thank Timmy for his input and ask the others. “Great point, Timmy. What do the rest of you think about the question?” Sometimes it helps to pose the questions to the others in the group.
Finally, give Timmy a job. Whether it’s to pray at the beginning or end, or to provide a summary of what the others said, give Timmy some weight to carry. Say, “I want to hear what each of you has to say about this, and then I want Timmy to summarize.” Sometimes the weight of responsibility will satisfy the same hunger that might have been fed by controlling the conversation.
No one teen should have a monopoly on the conversation. One of the joys of small group leadership is teaching others not just to talk but to listen well.