The following is part of the on the go training that I’ve begun to give our adult leaders in our youth ministry. The principles should be transferrable to other youth ministries with small group programs.
Rock Nerd
Growing up, I was obsessed with rocks. Everyone in my third grade class had a rock tumbler that would take rough, ragged rocks they’d find on the ground and turn them into shining beauties to be set in a Jack-in-the-Box decoder ring. Although I didn’t have the fortune to afford a tumbler myself, I still fed my obsession.
I’d walk around, constantly looking down, hoping to find a rose quartz or an amethyst crystal. Usually I’d walk home with a regular white quarts and few pieces of gravel in my pocket. Although the payoff wasn’t high, the joy of discovery was. It was a simpler time.
Discovery Rather Than Dictation
As you lead small groups, remember that you’re leading your teens on an expedition. Your questions are mile markers that guide them toward rare diamonds of wisdom. And half the joy of the process is discovery.
When you enter into dialogue with teens, lead with questions rather than statements. Let them make the statements. Consider the following hypothetical dialogue:
Leader: “Jesus did a lot of miracles during his earthly ministry. Why do you think he did so?”
Jane: “Because he’s God.” (At this point, Jane’s just dialing it in, picking up bits of dirt and mulch, rather than seeking the real goods.)
Leader: “Good point, Jane. (affirmation is good before a challenge) Why does it matter that Jesus is God?”
Jane: “Uh…I guess the miracles showed that he was God?”
Leader: “What do you mean there?”
Jane: “Well, the miracles Jesus did fulfilled Scripture about the Messiah, and it showed the people that Jesus had power over disease and death.”
Instead of telling Jane the answer the Leader was looking for, the Leader pressed Jane on the easy answer with another question. When you’re leading discussions, don’t be afraid to ask that follow-up question. Like the rock tumbler, follow-up questions refine the gems that you’re guiding your teens to collect. As you ask for further clarification, you lead the teen to discover the true and beautiful truths that you want to impart.